There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
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