i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
I have already put on my inside pants.
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
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