I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
Blood and glitter go together right?
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
Randomize
