um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
Randomize
