genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
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