my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
Randomize
