I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
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