ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
I am never drinking with the goths again.
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
Randomize
