Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
Randomize
