I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
Randomize
