That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
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