You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
Randomize
