shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
Randomize
