Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
Randomize
