My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
I'm not really that drunk, but I think vampires should glow in the dark because otherwise it's just unfair
Found more tequila
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
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