Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
FUCK WHALES
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
Randomize
