my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
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