It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
