Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
Randomize
