actually, I'm a sock model
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
Randomize
