Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
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There is too much vodka and too much dick.
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
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