My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
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