sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
I'm going to save the lime from my McDonald's salad to use in my Corona later tonight.
sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
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