I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
Randomize
