he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
Me. At least after what I've been through.
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
Randomize
