What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
Randomize
