I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
Randomize
