Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
Randomize
