She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
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