i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
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