I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
What happened to fro yo and sex?
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
Randomize
