I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
My ATM looks so different sober.
We just shotgunned beers for America
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
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