could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Randomize
