first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
Randomize
