No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
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