Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
Randomize
