Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
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