I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
