She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
Randomize
