i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
I think my vagina is haunted
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
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