What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
Randomize
