Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
Randomize
