I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
Randomize
