i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
