My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
Verdict: uncircumcised.
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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