very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
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