Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
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