I woke up this morning next to some guy. I was horrified, he woke up and said, "the white tiger strikes again!"
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
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