i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
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