Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
My butt remains clenched, sir.
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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