Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
I'm both gender and math confused
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
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