he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
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