Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
I went 670% over budget on my vacation. My accountant would flip if he weren't me.
How the fuck do you have so much free time?
Polyphasic sleep schedule.
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
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