So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
True strength comes from lack of pants
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize
