That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
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