and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
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