good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
Randomize
