this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
Randomize
