This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
Randomize
