She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
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