I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
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