Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
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